Wot, no cheese???

oh bugga, can't think..er.. wombats!

2008-07-25T12:24:05+02:00

*sigh* ain't this lovely.....

Grrrr...OOo I hate all things technical....tis..tis...technical is what it is!!! Only wanted to post a link...hurrumph... well, if you wanna hear it, you'll have to really push the boat out and cut and paste, I'm off to go yell at the hard drive...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw-J8kC5DHo

Oh sooooo romantic, and I fess up, I am, so neeeeeeeeeeer!

I'd be the pratt waiting on the corner, mind you, after a year, you'd probably realllly honk! So it should be"I'll be waitingggggggggggggggg, after a showerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Give me some notiiiiice!!!"

Enjoy... or not...*rolls eyes*

No idea for a title, so er... tortosie!!!

2008-07-21T15:54:49+02:00

Right, speed bloggin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

over there.......> I've put a new set of piccies, cos I was gobsmacked by how many flowers popped up from the one packet of seeds I hurled about the place, and the plan for the garden is to shove in more shrubs for structure, keep going with the planting of veg and fruit bushes amongst the "normal" shrubs n stuff, cos so far I've had No, I repeat, No pests! Blinkin marvel! Even the cabbages, uncovered under the bedroom window, not a flutterby on them...! Not the world's most romantic view to look upon, but tis the most edible!!

I bunged the wildflower seeds in due to lack of funds, wanting loads on of insects and being lazy, really... bugga, smilies gawn again...grrr. no time, cos tis speeeeeeeeeed blogging!!! *Pelts off to next line*

And I know the eagle eyed amongst you will be going, "Call yerself a gardener, woman! I can see pond liner!" Well, yes you can, but you won't, so shurrup!!!

Had an excellent meeting with um..er..*thinks* gawd I'm carp with names... ah yes, Allison!! The RHS Shcools advisor! All good, went down dead well, and she's considering using our school garden as a twilight garden, which is where, apparently, she brings teachers from around the region, to show them how to include the school garden in the curriculum! So a YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! There! But, we shall see! The visit went scarily ok, bar me itching and squirming due to the presence of large amounts of yew tree clippings in me bra, as you do, the running of me nose due to the dust from aforementioned yew hedge, and the closed swollen eye, due to the stabbing myself in the eye with a large portion, of aforementioned yew hedge..... *sigh*

Hmm, what else, Oh yesss, we went to go see WALL.E wow what a film, superb! Go See it!!!! Honest, it'll really make you think and you'll want a pet WALL.E, I have one, several in fact, ages ranging between 8 to 42! Naaaaaaah sweetipops really, mostly...sometimes.....

Right! 4 short people are awaiting the chauffeur so I must awaaay! On this glorious day and hope to find something else that rhymes with day..way? Lay? Oh crap, best not.....!

*Sneaks back in..* psst.. have you noticed my spelling improves when I type reaaaal fast? No? Honestly... some people.... *sulk* ;-)

"Don't stop me nooooooooooooooow!!!"

2008-07-15T12:41:53+02:00

"Dont stop me now Im having such a gooooooooood tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime, Im having a baaaaaaaaaall don't stop me noooooooooooow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

By Jove, and good heavens an all kinds of words for, blinkin heck, time does most certainly fly when you're "having a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalll!"

I have been a busy busy bunny, oh yees! I finally had enough of sitting, wondering, chewing pencil ends and thinking.."Hmmmm and universal justice will kick in.......er when?" cos, as I have previously mentioned, I thunk, it ain' like that, people can poop on you, exs can get away without paying diddly squat and nothing will happen, nada, zilch, nowt... sooooo you can either sit on yer backside and go" Oh woe is me! ( dramatic fainting scene) when whilst thou, oh gods of fate, right these wrongs that have been done unto lil ol me...???" it won't work, I' tried it, it just gets very very veeeeeeeeeeery boring... honest it does... so I figured, right I need dosh, woolly features over the road ain't ever gonna pay anything towards his kiddies upkeep, soo I can sit and sulk or I can get another job and do it meself.. so I got another job!!! It's brilliant!! bar the hours, the hours are a tad er.. challanging seems an apt description.... I get up at, wait for it.... 4:30 am.... stagger off to work with me sock hanging out of the back of me jeans, pootle home, get kids to school then go orf and garden, and.... more wait for it.. I love it!!!! I shoulda done this years ago!! And the money is exactly the amount that ex slug features should be paying! It is just the most wonderful feeling!! I am independent of him, tis wonderful, truly freeing....

What else..? oh yess, hubs is now off his crutches, whoohoooooooooooooooo and flag waving all round! His foot op went dead well, and he should be back to driving in about 5 days, 7 hours 23 mins and 40 seconds, not that I'm counting... honest, I'm not..... it has just been slightly challenging doing everything cos he couldn't, but we got there!! And we didn't murder each other, mainly cos I can run and he can't.... heh heh heh heh!!

We've also entered that time of year when the In Bloom judges are pootling all over the place, judging, so yesterday I had them in the school garden, today I had other judges in the school garden and on Thursday I've managed to get the new School's Advisor to the RHS to come down for a look see, yayyyyy an all that... and of course, as any of you with short adults, commonly known as kiddies, this time of year is complete and utter Bedlam!!! Trips everywhere, concerts coming outta our eye balls, Meg has gawned orf rabbit skinning and hunting for the week, not the activity I thought she'd chose, but dead pleased to be proved wrong! Jack is making a DVD for the Tear Foundation, another unexpected developement..... Dan is fencing round Suffolk, and Mags is being er.. Mags really...

I've also got 2 lumberjacks in the garden... time for another heh heh heh, I do believe...... so HEH HEH HEHHHHHHH!! Sadly we've had to have a blinkin great tree taken down, mainly cos its branches kept falling orf and landing in me neighbours garden.... gulp, but we're keeping the wood to make a summerhouse, oh yes, and John is arriving er... *counts on fingers* in 7 days, oh! A week!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL! To install the woodburner, and to say I'm excited is not an apt description, I am dead excited!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and this is also the time of year, when sleepy lil Suffolk springs to life! We have festivals all over the shop and this weekend, it's time for Hatchfest.... strange name, but then againk this is Suffolk...... *rolls eyes*, and I am also looking forward to Gordon Brown Summering here...... *searches for mad axe woman smilie.....* AHA!!

Now orf to go clean the oven..... hurrumph, Meg made a choccy cake to take camping, she chose the recipe "Can't go wrong, choccy cake..." It can.... it can explode, it can coat the entire oven.... be warned... she's lucky she's outta the county, truth be told......

Hoofin and squirrels....

2008-06-04T11:29:32+02:00

I have decided that it may be wise for the foreseeable future to proceed through life with a bucket on me head......

Yesterday... ah yesterday, all my troubles seemed here to stayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! What did I do, well I went to go pick up the chooks grub.... fairly simple procedure... got it, paid, hoofed it into the back of me car and trundled home, got it home hoofed it out and noticed the sell by date had come and gawn.... *sigh* soooo hoofed it back into the car, grumbling over price of petrol and unecessary driving and should I, shouldn't I charge them for this? Quite a cross patch, I shall confess....

Hoofed the blasted sack back outta the car, dropped it with a thud at the feet of an assistant and opened me mouth...
"I just bought this and have noticed it has gawn past it's sell by date.... now.. my chooks are havin enough problems laying at the mo, what with broodiness, and malting and.... and ....." on I went, smiling in a tight lipped obviously pissed off manner.... and he said...
"Um.. I don't work here, I'm just waiting to pay....."

And did I shut up? Noooo cos I didn't cos once embarassed I ramble... for days.... weeks have been known.. so off I went..
"Ohhh well since it's not your fault my chooks aren't laying, you can rest easy tonight.... did you know the vitamin content...." and on and on and on....... til he very politely giggled and found me a shop assistant who was about as much use as a..welll... hyperactive squirrel at a medidation conference......and with noooooooooooo knowledge about feeds whatsoever.... still I got me new bag.... chooks will lay or I shall give them a stern finger wagglin and look at them in a cross yet sympathetic manner.......

I aslo got taken out to lunch by me dad! Which was lurlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy... and then he had to go pick up a garden table cos a pheasant had broken their last one.. don't ask... life when I was a nipper was plagued with pheasants bouncing about all over the place... remember once being sat on the um.. loo... and a pheasant crash landing through the window.... waited very patiently for me to er.. finish, then wandered out of the loo and out via the front door... mad as hatters pheasants.....

Anyhoo, we arrvied at the EUUuuuuu cos I hate it, Wyevale, ie gift shop... ad he chose his table, deciding he didn't really want me to make him one outta an old hat, sticky back plastic and tarpaulin... no sense of adventure... price tag for table was £89.. got to check out and scanned it, they charged him £139 pounds...
"Erm.. "he said " the table is advertised for £89, why are you charging me £139?"
"Ah..." said the salesman" that price is just for the table top, this price is for the table top plus legs...."
"So you can buy just a table top??????? What the heck is the point of that?????!!!!!"
After several minutes of polite, forceful, non violent yet determined negotiation.... dad got it for the £89... leaving the salesman in a highly embarassed state, with me laughing too hard to contemplate walking for a wee bit....

Give me strength, tis not me that's barmy tis the world!! Whole place has gawned round the twist!!

£2.57 and a toothpick

2008-06-02T13:25:18+02:00

£19,000!!!!!!!!!

But...but... I know me ISA and I know it's got precisely £2.57, an old toe nail clipping and a used tooth pick in it... not £19,000!!!!!!

I mean.. nooooooo I can't have... um... OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo proverbial penny dropped!!! They must have sent me someone else's statement!!! OOOOooooooo!!! rich bastid.... *sigh*.. pootled off to go tell hubs and he went "OOOOOOooooooooooo!! You gotta write and tell them! Better yet, write and tell the account holder cos he'll be well mifffed..."

I nodded, wisely, feeling the weight of being a responsible citizen, wiping my brow and tutting at the world of banking and data protection, I put pen to paper...

I looked up and asked hubs to get the address off the bank statment for me, and orf he went.. I heard a gasp, a snort, hysterical laughter, then nothing but merry giggling....

"Ohh you daft mare" he cried whilst wiping the tears of laughter from his face
Exscuse me!! I hope you're not referring to me, the responsible citizen as a *dopey mare*????
"Um, so you want the address... ok here you go..it's.

Mr Sample *snort*
Sample Avenue
Sample County
Sample " and promptly fell about the room laffing...

Oh... um.. time for

Well, really... nope it's no good, I can't actually think of an exscuse... bottoms!!!

Mind you, this coming from the man, who took the dawg for a walk, took the lead off, put it round his neck, one end looped through t'other.... and came to the place where you had to put the lead back on... leaned down, clipped the lead onto dawg's collar, who promtly took off , draggin his Lordship along by the neck.... *sigh* now that is stoopid....

Cambridge and Mother...sigh

2008-05-19T15:57:56+02:00

Phewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! Well,, gawd, need a weekend away to get over me weekend away!!!

Arrived at Ma's to find Dad gibbering and cracking under the pressure of keeping her weekend away a secret....then a 30 minute discussion between me and sis as to who should drive and who should navigate.... um.. came to the conclusion that since we both had the mutant gene of not being able to tell our right from our left..... it wouldn't matter anyhoo cos when one of us said right the other would turn left, but that would be ok cos the one who said right would have meant left anyway.........

And having spent daaaaaaaaaays going round in circles..... ok maybe not days maybe minutes or 50!!! we finally found our hotel which was very...really..amazingly...quite green..... shock!! Would have helped if they'd blinkin told us mind you.... couldn't for the life of us work out how the darn lights worked... looked all over the shop, tried anything and everything, fumbling around in the dark...... til the light dawned and we realized that you had to put yer little opening door card thingy, into a slot to have the lights on.... not obvious now, is it!!! Darn good though cos it means that when you leave the room you have to take your card with you or find yourself blubbing to the Concierge... and so lights aren't left on.. clever eh????

Had a groovy afternoon wandering round the market, nicked a design on how to make me own wigwam... project no302... decided probably me and sis punting me Ma about the Cam was not the most sensible ideas, long pole, deep water...hmmmm......crashed for a bit then went out to dinner! And who should I spy, but one of me favs, Rory Mcgarth or however you spell his name, fluffy man, jovial, beard, QI, grumpy ol men, any bells ringing??? Said I'd love an autograph but since he was eating out, thought it was a tad rude to go disturbing him..... pootled off to the ladies, came back to see......my Ma.... sat next to him, blushing and giggling like a school gal.... and worse, him, blushing and giggling back!!!!!!

Sooooooo I went up to her and tried to grab her jacket to pull her away and she saiiidd.

"Ohhh this is Kate!!"
And Rory stood up like a real gent and said hi, where did I come from and I said...
" Um...er..."
Mum filled in and he said
"Oh what are you doing here when you have that fantastic Pub The Bell and Steel Yard!" He knows me little village well!!!
and I said..
"Um..er..."
Mum filled in...*sigh*
he was really nice and so friendly..anway, I got ma back to her seat and we left him be.... I asked her what she'd said to make him giggle and chat so friendly like?
"Well, dear, I just said, hello Rory would you like to make 2 young ladies very happy tonight?"

Give me strength...

I thought I'd best text Ol find out how he was coping with all the kiddies, and I got the reply...
"All safely tucked up, 2 in the sideboard, 4 in the purple shed and 4 in the big shed...." um....er..... penny dropped, he'd just got me text asking bout the chooks......

Spent Sunday wafting round the river, lovely lunch then the nightmarish journey trying to find our way outta Cambridge.... the signs say "All routes..->" well it isn't all routes, is it.. if it was all routes they'd be one road, wouldn't there, and not 10,000 all shooting off all over the place....

Still the M1 wasn't too bad.... and once we realized we were heading towards the North of the country we screeched round and headed back.... stoopid road signs.... stoopid M roads... now I remember why I rarely leave Suffolk...tisn't for the not wanting to, tis cos of the completely crap roads signs and lack of llama filling stations.......

Grab you partner by the hand!

2008-05-16T12:39:02+02:00

*tinkers with nuts and bolts..* erm.. ok.. um.. right think that's it..*crash!!*

OK... gonna have an experiment..... *gulp*

Rightiooooooo!! OK.. reader participation required here... ahhhaaaaaaa I can here the steps running for the door, but tis locked so neeeeeeeeer... hit the link, go on...*sigh* noone has ever come to any harm from hitting a link now have they.... bar that episiode with the er.... less said the better I feel... ok once you've hit the link reduce it... keep up!!! and.... Grab your partner by the hand!!

http://www.last.fm/music/Steve+Earle/_/Snake+Oil

Oh bugga link doesn't work... grrrr... um.. may I trouble you to copy and paste????

And hurl them bout the floor!! Hubs and moi have an iddy biddy secret.. ish kinda... we've um taken up.... *looks sheepishly at the floor..* well, line dancing!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!! It is the most fun I have had in centuries!! We both used to go to american bars in America, strangely... and both missed them ther places where the bands played and people whooped and just got up and danced the good ol two step.. soooooo after a bit of phoning and swearing and more phoning and more swearing, we've finally found one!! Talk about knackering though.....

I thought I was fit!!! Not!! Strong, maybe, fit? Naaaaaaaaaaaaah, soon will be though, tis excellent!! Oops just realized I haven't put the link in... Dohhhhhhhhhhh...!

Right I must away and pack me bag with night vision goggles, hand cuffs...*thinks* blind fold and getaway car.. not sure if that'll fit in....

Me and sis are preparing to kidnap me Ma and whisk her away to Cambridge, where we will celebrate in style her reaching the age of 70!! Yeeeehawwwwwwwww!! Bless her, hasn't a clue.. Dad is a gibbernig wreck with having to keep it secret for about 20 seconds...*rolls eyes* he shall be off the hook in the morning when we shall descend and bundle her into me sis's car, where we shall sit for most of the day due to the horror that is the road system of Cambridge..... anyhoo, whatever you're up to.. the mind boggles... have a grooooovy wekend and don't forget to keep counting! 1..2...1...2.....1......2..... hurl!! Enjoy!!

Oh I dunno..um... Pants!!

2008-05-14T10:31:33+02:00

I haff completed stage uno of mein experimentation into the direct seeewing of deh veegtable.... stage uno veel concloooood vif a report intoooo germintation reeeeeesults... oond strength of new seedlings... oh bugga never could do an accent.... anyhoo.. be warned, I am about to write a list..... entertaining music may be wise as lists are notoriously boooooooooring!!

Subjects.....

Cucumbers...
Direct sown, vunderbar, fast germination and strong healthy babies...
Propogator.. pants, all died after severe stretching and unknow virus, probably cat related... *sigh*

Toms
Direct sown, tumbling toms onto moist copost of hanging basket.... blinkin marvel they were, germinated in 4 days, good rate too and now have loads (far too many actually) of baby plants grwoing merrily..
Propogator.. more pants... due to same problem.... *sigh*

Squash

Direct sown, fast germiantion, healthy strong seedlings... whooohooooooooooooooo!!
Propgator and windowsill... early results encouraging, but more stretching, seedling ok.. nothing to go writing to anyone about... put in ground..

Chillis and aubs, forgot ... only propogator so pants... 2 chillis and 2 aubs surviving, now outside, sulking...

Celery

Didn't sow any....
Last years crop, fleeced, then cut to ground this spring, fast growth, lovely shoots, strong flavour..

Runners

No difference observed from pot grown and direct sown... so will hurl in future....

I'm sure there's more, just can't remember!!

Conclusion... seedlings are like iddy biddy kiddiewinks, I haff conclooooded that just as you wrap a child in cotton wool and dinifect him/her at any given opportunity, keep safe, no germs, no fun and games.. when aforementioned child ventures into the wide world, he/she gets a cough straight away and wilts, slightly.....returning home to sulk and with a strong tendencyy not to want to go out again....

So kids who are bunged out early on, left to grow and play n stuff, grown far straighter, healthier and get on with the job in hand, growing and living....

Sooooo.. next year I shall not be using propogators, I shall be swapping runners for chillis and aubs from kind neighbour and generally hurling stuff about the place....thus reducing the energy consumed by the propogator, gawd knows how much it costs to keep it going for weeks....the need to watch the cat at any given moment and the seedling watching which is both intersting, joyful, but a right pain in the backside when time is not always avaiilable...and the costant Is it dry? is it dry enough? Is it too wet??? Should I water????

Good grief, I'm a dingbat....*sigh* remembered the 10 squillion other veg I'd hurled whilst at work, weeding someone else's....

Soooooooooo on with my erm.. list, really... make the most of it, lists are evil and shall not be repeated....

Tatties

Bunged in, not chitted, end of March, stomping along, bout 2 ft high now..whooooooooooooop!!

Brassicas

Sowed direct, fast germination, healthy seedlings, growing fast
Sowed in modules, fast germination, slooooooooooooooooooooow growth... as in space walk growth...

Parsnips

Always sowed direct, took a few weeks to germinate, now fine and dandy, happy little soldiers one could say... if one was very very strange....

Beetroot

Sowed direct...darn fine plants even if I say so meself...

Carrots

just plain pants... operation aborted...!!

Lettuce, spinache yadidadadadadaaaaaaaaaa

All sowed direct, all fine! Growing bit too quick, methinks, we shall be living on salad for decades... shhhh I'm keeping that as a surprise for the kiddies...

Broadies

Sowed direct in autumn, full of flower, feeling broadie peckish now....

Sweet peas and peas

Same ol same ol... bunged in, they grew...

Amreican variegated land cress Ooooooooooooh yes.....!!

Propogator and tending loving care, PANTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! 3 survivors..

Hurled into old pig trough, fast germination, now full of seedlings...

Onions, garlic, chalottes etc etc...

Sowed in situ in autumn.... fine and dandy, stomping along now, and I'm running low on onions so hurrrrrrry up!!!

Now can we see a pattern here??? Huh???? HUH????!!!! I have come to the conclusion, the harder you make it for yourself, the blinkin crappier your results will be...

Now I need a new venture....hm...... tadpoles swimming technique does leave a little to be desired I feel..... all that energy expansion....*wanders off jotting notes down and making little swimsuits....*

Tick..tock...tick....

2008-05-07T12:49:27+02:00

The tension in the room mounted, as they both watched the hands of the clock, slooooooooooowly ticking by.. tick...tock.....tick....tock..... a bead of sweat dripped down his forehead as 7pm grew ever closer... she smiled, encouragingly........... knowing the fear that was pulsing through his veins... any minute he'd arrive... any minute their lives would take on a new and surreal aspect, if she didn't act soon....... tick...tock..tick.... tension growing, the bead of sweat dripped down his forehead, down his nose.. his eyes were firmly fixed to the clock, panicked, he glanced at her, then swivelled his eyes back to the ever-moving hands of the clock........ tick...... tock....6 minutes to go til....... oh to break the tension..... to lessen his worry... to stop the multitude of thoughts racing through his mind.....

"Oh well, guess I'll go for a bike ride then...!"

"Oh thank you, thank you!" he giggled "We really do need to get a quote from someone before you scare the bejesus outta them or insult them..."

So off she pootled on her merry way, as the solar panel man trotted up the path... safe in the knowledge that he would pass through her door, unharmed........... for now..heh heh heh......

YOOOOWCH!!!

2008-05-06T15:16:34+02:00

Well the sun's shining!!!!!!! Hurrumph and here I be, sat on the old, and I mean old.... computer, cos.... I got burnt to buggery yesterday..... and now me smilies have gawn and gawndededed... *sigh*!!

Well you daft mare serves you right, I hear you, waggling those fingers, rolling those eyes, shaking that head!! But...but... but... (racks brain for exscuse) but... um... oh bugga can't think of one really... Ah yes I can!!! It was the weather man's fault ooooooooooh yes it was... didn't mention all this heaty stuff coming along!! And I had to work, which luckily involved standing in a pond, wiggling me toes in the mud...and.. and ..and I didn't notice it was getting as hot as it was cos of the standing in water thingy... sooooo by the time I got home, I was a tad on the vivid scarlet side... hot enough to boil a monkey's... um.. things that need boiling...., one could say...

But!! I didn't realize!! So then I pootled out into the garden and carried on, and.. now um... YOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWCH!!! OOOOOOOoooooooooooooo and AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Found them!!!!!!!!

I'm looking forward to the peeling phase, really... I could spend hours.. oops too much information...

On to the garden front!! It's still there!!!! Which is always a relief... heaven forbid you fling open the curtains and the garden's gawn...

I've sowing anything and everything I can get my hands on direct!! Including tomatoes, and cucumbers and more cucumbers and runners and, well everything really! If this cunning plan works, I shall forget the weeeeeeeeeeks and weeeeeeeks of sitting there, nursing them there little seedlings, forking out millions of pounds in electric for the propogators, and I shall hurl.. everything... far and wide... everywhere..... I know it will all be a few weeks later, but never really understood that theory anyway.... there's everyone, me included, desperate to get things growing earlier, and quicker and sooner... then come the end of the season, things are losing the will to live! So I may have to wait a few more weeks, but then they should all be produing manically when others are tired and had enough and just can't be bothered to make anymore fruits or veg.. sulky lot, some of these veg...

Oh gawd, just got a text from a friend.. "Do you do tree cutting...." hmmm... has been known, as long as there are no buildings or people within a 40 mile area........

Oh and um... seems like hubs has got aother chap coming round to give us a quote on solar panels, tonight... I daren't even thinka bout it... I think a wise plan maybe to voluntarily put myself in the shed, with bucket at the ready, really....