Wot, no cheese???

Stage two.... I think I may have missed my calling, you know...

Momentum through water.....

Take 2 tadpoles.... preferably of an equal size.... tadpole 1... attach nothing, bar the iddy biddy crash helmet...... push tadpole into end of straw, insert straw into water,, take a deep breath and bloooooooooooooooooooooow.... tadpole will shoot out of straw and time, obvioulsy the amount of time it takes tadpole to reach point B, point A being the starting point..(thickie... *rolls eyes*)

Allow tadpole 1 -2 minutes to get a grip and remove from pond into training tank..

Take tadpole 2... attach one iddy biddy cone hat to it's crash helmet, thus streamlining it... proceed as before and blooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.... with the same amount of breath.... time how long it take tadpole 2, let's call this one, Neville for identification purposes (though if you can't distinguish from tadpole A as Tadpole B, I mean Neville has a cone on 'is head... *sigh* you probably should have worn glasses.....)

Return tadpoles to pond on completion of experiment, perform a strokey beard action, giving the impression of having achieved something both absolutely fascinating and vital to humanity.... and always make sure that both tadpoles have agreed to take part in this procedure, and have signed wavers....

PS if you do attempt this..(bearing in mind the many people who are now stomping and raaaaing at the thought of ill treatment of tadpoles...) do not attempt this.. these are highly trained tadpoles, and are not available to the general population.. and don't ask Ratty for any cos she is in the process of completing a frog brothel... apparently... ( I really didn't like to pursue this area of our conversation...)

If you have absolutely no idea what the heck I am on about.. well go to the back of the class.. honestly..