Wot, no cheese???

I shoulda known really.... I mean, it was going to happen, sooner or later.... I don't know why I thought this little enterprise would go in any way smoother than anything else I've attempted in my bid to be helpful...

OOOOOoooooooooooooooooo what's she gawn and done now... I hear you wondering... *sigh* well in my attempt at being the prim and proper secretary of the In Bloom thingamywotsit.. I er... well, I figured I should have a fail safe... seemed easy enough... I had two versions of the minutes, one I duly named "The crap version" and one I duly named just "The minutes"... the theory being that I would do a rough copy to get things sorted and into making some kind of sense, then once sorted, I'd do the proper version... it's not the world's greatest plan, but tis still a plan.... so what have I done?

Well, I have just sent to the Chairman and about 15 other committee members a file... and that file is entitled...."Minutes of Feb 20th, the crap version"....

And if that is not bad enough.. upon opening the aforementioned file they will read that....." it was suggested pooping through letterboxes......."

I shall now retire to the broom cupbaord, where minimum damage can be expected.....

* and a shimeeeeey to the right and a shimeeeeeeeey to the left and a hip wiggle and kick and jump!*

Tis the radio's fault, honest it is, they're playing "Under the Bourdwalk or however you spell it.. down by the seaaaaaaaaaaaa..Oooooooooooooo yeahhhhhhhh.." it's that song, can't help meself, so ended up doing breakfast whilst shimeying about the place trying not to stand on the dawg and cat, it would seem a tad mean to injure one of his 3 remaining legs.. bless him....

I was going to attempt the world's first ever blog concert.... or 3065th, not sure... but I digress... then I stood for a moment and thought about the organisation needed and then thought about my track record with anything vaguley push-a-buttonful, and decided... best not....

Oh I was having a lovely dream this morning... *sigh* all snuggled up under the duvet, mouth a gape whilst drooling, probably, but in my head... I was laying on a sun-kissed beach with Daniel Criag giving me a foot massage. foot's all the info you're gonna get......heh heh heh heh.. then something entered the ouskirts of my mind, a faint "mum..." nope shall ignore it..."Muuuummmm" ... noo go away..." Sat bolt upright in bed when I finally tuned in and got "MUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! THERE'SBEENANEARTHQUAKEANDMILLIONSAREDEADAND Breath child, breath..."ANDANDANDIT'SHEREINENGLAND!!!!!!!!"

Shot outta bed...ok..fell... oh alright, crashed then....and turned on the news...well, blow me down and call me Bob, sure enought there had been an earthquake and...... one budgie fell of his perch, one man dropped his coffee, and a lil ol lady got hit on tthe leg by a brick.....
Soo not millions, not thousands, not even one... nil point to child for observation skills....

On the kiddiewink front, Dan has himself a galfrend!! And I know this, for he has now entered the teenage years of grunting, blushing then grunting when asked any question whatsoever.... last night he went to fencing and he asked her out...!Oh how lovely, so where are you going?"

"Nowhere, obviously" was the reply... and the penny dropped as I was transported back to the years of early teeneage dating, that doesn't actually take place.. oh no.. you get asked out by a friend of a friend of a friend of the person doing the asking, you say yes, then you ignore each other and about 3-4days later, having not yet spoken, you find yourself dumped.... ahh such fond memories... but I'll give him his due, he actually managed to speak to the love interest himself... good on yer boy!!!

I have added 2 more songs to the song linky thingy bit to the...*thinks* left..no right...um... nope it's left! But be warned! The Shadow of the Day, though beautiful, is the most saddest (and I don't care if me grammar's up the spout!) song ever, made me cry!! Soooo if you're vaguely depressed DO NOT CLICK!! Actually if you're feeling happy don't click either cos then you'll be down and then I'll feel awful... oh I dunno.. anyway, if it did make you feel down and like thumping me, I've added one after it to cheer you up a bit., just checked it's not below it, it's moved *mutters* blasted thing, who asked it to be alphabetical!! It's called Mr Rock and Roll ...now don't tell me I don't look after you... cuh..

I do wish this blog would stop saying "Hello Katherine"

It feels like either a really, really bad chat up line, or me mother is about to tell me off for something... I shall change my name to Neville.. should work...

And I am sooooooo stiff I can barely move... I've had to work for the most amazing slave driver ever!! Yup! me dad... *sigh*

He'd booked me to come and, now how did he put it.. Oh yes, "Renovate a few of his shrubs" which is a shock in itself cos I didn't actually realize he knew he had a garden!! Anywaayyy... I duly arrived and nearly passed out!! if I'd know what he was on about before I'd have told him "No shan't you can't make me neeeeeer" and promptly emigrated... as it was I was faced with.... The garage shrubs.. nope that's wrong.. the garageshrubswhichhavebeenleftfor30yearsandarenowtrees.. and there was lil ol me, standing there with me pruning gear and a small hack saw... blinkin well needed dynamite!!!! And in his oh so helpful manner he pootled off to the shops for a bit... 2 BLOODY HOURS!!!! But it wasn't so bad, they live in the middle of nowhere so I could put me ipod on and screech out tunes at the top of me lungs.. though gawd help the villagers..... and on his return, I was on the roof finishing up... and then.... me mother comes home.....gets outta the car and says...
"Why is our daughter on top of the garage roof singing?"

And me and Dad both went...


"Oh she's fine, she left her pruning saw up there..."
"And why is she on the garage roof with her pruning saw????"

And I got down and wandered off whilst sucking on a walnut whip whilst me mother lost the plot with me dad
"YOUHAVE2JOBSINTHEGARDEN ..pause to breath...ONISTOSITONTHEMOWERANDGOROUNDINCIRCLES,OTHERISTO
DOTHESHRUBSINFRONTOFTHEGARAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Erm... carried on to this tunefor about 2 mins, til she spied me curly wurly, choccy lovers all I'm afraid... phew, reckon dad is in for a few extra jobs in the very very near future.... I'm busy.....dead busy.. really, really busy forever...bless him..

Lawd.. where to start!!

Today's good I reckon cos what with my having the short term memory of a wombat, if I don't get it down now... it'll be shuntd by me brain into the nether regions, never to be heard of again!

I went to work... topiaried a Yew, didn't declare undying love to anyone by saying "Oh I love Yew.." Always good... then I went off around alllllllllllllllllll the schools in the town, in my capacity of the schools er... what to call it... dragging them in really, coordinator for the In Bloom Committee..... first school, primary, county run.. bloody marvellous, an allotment and a nature trail.. school 2.. similar, kitchen garden beds all dug out ready for planting... my school, well not mine, the one where I do the Gardening club I know will enter cos I entered them... note to self.. tell Head...

School, oh I forget which number...really impressive cos only opened last term and a kitchen garden was already being sorted out, so they'll be up and running by the time the Judges get here.... onto the local Comp, which is a truly excellent school... but the Head was in Court...

SO I beat a hasty retreat and left me phone number for her... then I arrived at the steely gates of one of the private Schools.... wow...hmm... gulp..... six hours later, having driven through a Park... I arrived at Reception which took me 4 hours to find.. *sigh* and was greeted by a very unfriendly, sneery receptionist who informed me that "we don't do that sort of thing...." and grabbed a passing pupil to interrogate and make sure that "we don't do that sort of thing"....

However they would "allow" us to drive the Judges through the Grounds to admire the work done by their groundsman... but no, sorry we need kids with dirty finger nails, weeds coming outta their ears, hoes hurled about the place and a look of glee... and it was the same in the other 2 Private er.. Establishments I visited... not the World's most welcoming of places I have to say... but then I guess I am one of the rabble...

And this got me to athunking.... these 'ere kiddies who are at these Schools cos of their parents so you can't blame them, and I imagine they do offer a remarkable education, and to be frank I know this cos I went to one... and nope, didn't get a choice, at the age of 11 you go where you are told... so whilst I can read grave stones in Latin... dead helpful...I far prefer and advocate the Real education of the Comprehnsive System... but I digress. there's a surprise... Now surely.. if we don't grab these younger kiddies at an early age and impress on them the importance of sustainable planting, how easy and healthy it is to grow your own veg and flowers, the health benefits of playing in the dirt, the satisfaction you get when you dig yer first tatties, the complex and startling relationship between all things living.... then what is the point????? Aren't we just producing yet more daleks for the future? And as to the private schools, these pupils are future Prime Ministers, Ministers, Business people, Professors etc etc.. or opt outs.. could go either way.... but I find it incredibly sad, remiss and darn right irresponsible of these institutions not to be pushing forward with the Global message, and I feel really sad for these kids who probably won't get to play in the dirt... cos everyone needs to play in the dirt don't they?

Speaking of which, I'm now off to go playin my dirt...! WHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!

I have been a bad, bad, bad blogger type person, and I should be punished!!! Or given a cup of hot choccy, pat on the head and a shakey head tutting.......

Yesterday was me buffday!!!!

And having decided 41 was bad enough, I have decided to now celebrate anniversaries instead.... sooo it was the second anniversary of me fortieth as far as I'm concerned.. works for me.!!!!!!!!!!

Had a lovely day, went off with Ma and Pa to a nursery and bought... well, plants strangely....... so me beds are slowly getting filled or will when the temperature gets above -34878627987 and I can actually plant them.... I got a Malus x Eluyi (may well be spelt wrong...., a Eunoymus alatus, the spindle tree, love it! and others.. brain freezing here...!!!

Hubs spent the weekend playing with his digicamcorder thingy.. gosh I was pleased.... I was videod washing up, washing in other directions, ironing, etc etc etc... I think he was convinced something may well occur that would merit all this filming...... but no.... I glided through the weekend, in a swan-like manner with no occurences.... til he turned the camera off in a fit of disgust...... and I went out into the garden to continue with my bed shaping.. and came across a particularly stubborn tree root...think The Old lady and the Turnip here.... so I heaved and I hoeeeeeeeeeeeed and heaved some more and puffed and panted.. and it flew outta the ground!!!

With me still attached to the end, and unfortunately for the chicken that was standing behind me... I landed on top of it...... so there was an almighty clucking and screeching and feathers everywhere, me hopping about trying to catch it to try make sure it was ok, but going by the speed it mnagaed to reach, I'm kinda guessing it was ok..... hubs pelted outta the house with the recorder to find me serenely weeding........

Ahhh you gotta be quick!!!!

Gordon Bennett!! save me from the flashy red light boxy thing, needed for the internet... grrrr.... darn thing started doin the flash off death on Saturday and when I hit connect.. it went..
"nope..."

Er..
"Connect, damn you!!"
"nuh huh!"

"repair"
"No..shan't.."


Ssssssssssssoooo! A new, less attitudey red box, now sits smugly where the old one did.. and if any of them there flashy lights start.. I'll ....I'll.. not sure.... but I know it will involve, sellotape!!

Anyhoo... I'm diggin... so I'm goin diggin... there's a shocker! New beds are taking shape, and plants are not! So at the mo I am digging out loads of new beds and paths and spaces with absolutely nothing to go in there...!! Beggin may occur anytime soon.....!

OOOOooooooooooooooooooo what a beautiful mooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrninggggggggg!! Ohhhhhhh what a beautifulllllll dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!

It is!! it is!!! it is gorgeous out there!! *pelts in and flings the curtains back!!* Come on!! Come on!! Up! Up!! Up!!!

And if you've managed to drag open one eye..looked blearily out of the window, and it's raining or something... erm.. bugga..!!

Well, here in sunny Suffolk the sun is shining down, birds are atweeting, chooks laying (blink better be.... or there will be a stern figner waggling, let me tell you!), gravel is crunching!! Dew everywhere, absolutely gorgeous! I'm off to teach this morning in a bit... my favourist thing, bar the shopping thingy, but that happens so rarely, as in people pay me to spend their money for them on plants..!!! Mad.. but it's blinkin brill you go around a garden centre and point, basically... wonderful!
I'm off to go see Luke this morning, lovely man, another widower..sniff.. he his completely clueless bout gardening cos his lovely wife did it.. and he wants to keep the garden going in case she's up there waggling her finger at him, I suspect...! He does get a bit scared, mind you... cos I do cut things back hard.. and egg him on to be more brutal..! Last year we went to tackle his Buddleja and yes, I know I've probably spelt it wrong, but I don't care, cos the sun is shining so neer!

He gingerly approached it, and removed a leaf....
and it could be said, looked a tad er..terrified? When I got me hack saw out and reduced a 20 ft specimen to 1 ft!! Mind you, it did look kinda lovely this year, so I think he trusts me now.. think being the operative word!

And for those who have woken up to a bleary, crappy foggy cold day.. here's a beautfiul peom written by Meg, my eldest, and yup! I'm shamelessly plugging me daughter, tis my job.. says so in me mum contract thingy.....

Spring Chills

Leaves unfurl, revealing the new
Spirit, sipping at springs gentle light
Sprouting new branches, thoughts
Uncurl and yawn. Let me watch
Your eager eyes, moulding
To the new years young birth

Younglings squirm and reach
To endure, explore this world they
Raised to believe, teasing my senses
As they run and scatter and play
Around my muddy toes, how playful
They're life has been so far

Pearl droplets of the spring dew,
Contemplating time, as they slouch
On the green leaves, droplets
Trickle down my finger, keeping dewy
Smiles as they roll down my
Uplifted soul, breath taken.

Secrets of blooming buds, revealing
New windows of colours as each
Opens to whisper the truth
Through entrancing eyes, do I despise
Your knowledge and secrecy?
The beauty of curiosity at your disposal.

Spring Goddess, daughters of Nature
Tickle my inspiratoin to full
Power, can I teach the world of
Your sweet tastes of
The new, world twisting to
Bear its new colour
As the new spring trickles to
A slow conclusion

Whooooooooooooooop!!!! Me gravel's arrived!!!

*pirouettes round the room and leaps about the place.. suddenly remember she can't do ballet and falls over...*

I am pathetically excited, in fact I've been awake since 5 dreaming of gravel.... struth as Jags would say... who is due a thwack on entry......

I must confess to having started off a domestic for the poor man who does me gravelly deliveries and things.... gulp... I've known him all my life, went to primary school together yadidadadadadadaaaa.. and he runs a company that's for haulage and bulldozers n stuff... so I work with him abit and know him dead well..er.. so he has me on his mobile as..um... well.. Miss Firry Bottom...

There is a logical explanation for this.. honest there is... the plot I had, used to be called Firry bottom cos it was under a Fir tree.. and it had nothing whatsoever to do with being next to the dead posh houses who kinda "tolerated" me.. nope... I wouldn't do that... heh heh heh.... I digress.. there's a surprise... sooooo he told me to ring dead early to sort out the amount I wanted.. and I did... I phoned his mobile and it was answered and I said... um..

"Hey there dipstick, tis Miss Firry Bottom.. you up for it still this morning?" (meaning gravel delivery.....)

Which unfortunatelty his girlfriend didn't give me a chance to explain... I just heard..

"Rick phone for you..." hurl... crash... yell... slam....


I don't think I'll be joining relate anytime soon........ nor ordering gravel for a while either....

Well, I feel I have caused a suitable amount of chaos on this bright and breezy morning, so away I pootle to go gravel me gravelly bit! Whoohoooooooooooooooooo!!!!

OOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo I'm a cross bunny this morning....

I'm also a bunny covered in oil, axel grease, probably road kill and puddle water.......

And how did this occur? I hear you musing, and if you're not, you blinkin well should be! Well.. I pulled up at school to drop the kiddiewinks off, and Dan says..

"Your wheel just fell off..."

And since we're both as bad as each other at winding up and I didn't feel the car go thwump.. I just said "Yeah right and you can stay up til midnight tonight..."

"No" he says and Meg joins in "look!!!!!"

Sighing I had a look and was dead pleased to see it was just the cappy bit, I don't know it's name!! The silvery wheely shape bit that fits on the tyrey bit... but I wasn't too chuffed to hear air hissing outta the tyre....

"Right you lot walk from here.." and they said as one "OH MY GOD!! We can't leave you alone!! What you gonna do??? You'll break something or something will happen!!!!"

Bless their little cotton socks, but I was only just outside school!! Not in Outer Mongolia so off they pootled, convinced I was gonna be hijacked by the Local Suffolk Lama Terrorist group or something.. First thing first... HELPPPPPPPPP!!!

I don't have a clue how to change a tyre, so I thought I'd ask the next man person walking past... 2 asks later and they were both busy... so thanks for that! Nothing like leaving a lonesome female on her own with a puncture and before.... Oh yes before you say "ahhh well, you women want to be treated like men"... not bloody me!!!!! I like being a gal so next time please help me then I wouldn't be say here covered in road kill......
Then I phoned me dad, not there, then I phoned Charlie me mate, who laughed hysterically down the phone... such a help... not!!! Eventually it dawned on me that I.. little ol me, with the luck of the weird was gonna have to do this thing... first things first... where's the spare...?????? I looked and hunted and looked and searched.... and then found it... WHAT A STUPID BLINKIN PLACE TO PUT A TYRE!!! UNDER THE CAR!!!

..and the light slowly dawning that I was gonna have to get under the car.... in a puddle and road kill.....and have aforementioned tyre released and fall on my face.... oh joy...yayyy and cartwheels.... soo I slid under the car... closed me eyes, lowered the nut and... caught it!!!! Whhoohoooooooooooo!! I had a tyre!!!!

OK the tyre wasn't yet attached to the car, but I was heading in the right direction...!!! Still couldn't quite believe that all these parents were just walking past, watching me uneder the car struggling with the blinkin tyre and not one offering to help... ohhhh your karma will find you out.. let me tell you!!! You shall come back as a worm....Rolled the wheel to the car... where it didn't spring miraculously onto the wheel.. hmm... right JACK!! Whoop!! Located that too, in a far more reasonable place ... and couldn't work it... sat in puddle, head in hands and thunked.... thunked some more... light bulb went off! And I found me manual! Which was dead handy....

This is your car... preeetty piccy of a car... This is your wheel... the wheel goes round... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! bang head against wheel... finally after 10 pages of how the wheel goes round I found the piccy of the jack thingy... jacked the car up.. whoop!! And couldn't loosen the bloody nuts!!!!!!!!!!!! Sob... just about to give up and phone for a taxi when my super hero appeared!! In the form of..me Dad!! *Runs and hugs* 2 secs later.. I pootled on my way to go get a new tyre and 4..I repeat 4 gentlman come .. to help.... soo the moral of the story is! Make sure you're not in road kill before you get a puncture!!! Nahh not really... but I would urge you gents out there to check your partners can change a tyre and all you gals who are shaking yer fists and saying, "But we knowwwwww.. we don't need help!" I bet yer do!! Sod yer girlie pride and go ask!!!

And if you're the gal who knows how to change a tyre then make sure yer blinkin partner can too!!

What a fantastic morning at work!! LOL!! I got to drive.... wait for it.... a dumper truck!!!!

I didn't intend to drive a dumper truck, so I could guess you could call it, an accidental dumper truck incident.... I was just supposed to go and supervise the digging out of a pond.. soo I turned up wearing every single item of clothing I have ever owned, and was still blinkin freezin! Wandered over to the chap with the digger and very rashly asked.."Is there anything I can do to help?" and he replied.."Oh yeah, if you could drive the dumper and take the dirt away, that would stop me having to get in and out of the bulldozer..."

Well, he'd never met me, so you gotta let him off.... anyhoo, after a 2 min lesson on it, off I went, tearing round the garden in me dumper truck!!!! It's brilliant!! I want one!!

And I am pleased to announce, I only made 2 cock ups.. got forward and backward muddled and ran over a small tree.... and er... got me dumpery bit muddled and dumped when I should have lifted....

But all in all a very satisfactory morning and I dumped 30 tons of soil, alllll on me own!! I love my job!!

Had a wonderful weekend too! I finished off levelling the herby gaardeny thing, made the raised beds.. ok.. dragged some tree stumps over... lol, got loads of membrane for free of me bro.. nowt wrong with begging occasionally.... and later this week I'm gonna be getting half a ton of gravel to finsih it off! Then I'll take piccies! Wondering if I can borrow the the dumper truck to move it... sounds like a plan!!! oh, must remember to teach Jasper not to poo in his bed... grrrr.. grr with a hug.. cos he's still soooooooooo sweet!! and to stop hitting the space bar.. this is taking me agesssssss!!!