Wot, no cheese???

I made it out into me own garden!!!! There's shocker!!! And having decided to create a gravely, herby, raised bed thingy outside the kitchen door... I've also decided to redesign the entire garden!!!

And, on the good news front, it shouldn't really cost me a penny!! I'm gonna do it all with soft landscaping and changing the shape of the lawn.. only taken me nearly a year to finally hit on the right idea... which is fine, cos I shan't fire me.. when it's a design job, you gotta be on the ball, cos they do not like faffing about.. and if there is something I'm good at, it is the age old faffing custom... mulling.. chewing the cud, talking to the chooks.. I get distracted by the smallest thing.. in fact hubs does tend to get a bit er... how to put it.. Ah yess.. pissed orf! We'll be siphoning wine, or doin something that requires two..(behave..) and I'll go to fetch something and... never come back....normally only returning when a shout eminates from whatever room I forgot I left him in...a few choice words and "Wot the heck are you doing?? where did you go????" umm... had to go tweek the chooks nesting box.. or had to go finish Yam herding or something.. doesn't take much...

Sooooooooooo if the snow holds off, which I suspect it will cos they've forecast it... I shall be being brutal in the garden... getting rid of stuff I've hummed and haad over and changing the shape of the lawn to create iddy biddy hiding places..for the kids.. oh ok.. me then...

I haven't run this grand scheme past hubs yet.. I think I'll wait til Friday, and present him with his favourite glass of homebrew, smile.. Fluttering eyelashes.. try stop me glasses falling off... *sigh* Then go in for the kill!! I'll pic it, when there's something to pic.. I can't really piccy my imagination.. and I do think that this is no bad thing.....

I'm not here really....

Just popping in to hang some more piccies in the Jan gardeny bit... cos Feb is hurtling along towards us...! And I know.. me snowdrops are a bit fuzzy.... tis a new species.. honest injun...

And I've sowed chillis and aubs, but I WILL NOT sow my toms yet.. shan't, you can't make me so neeeeeer..

Every year I start off wayyyyyyyy too early and end up with leggy toms, which isn't a huge problem cos I bury them deeper and deeper each time I repot, but to have 3 cuc plants in a huge pot, bearing cucs in March is a tad over zealous I feel.. so I am resisting!! I am gonna concentrate on the herb garden, and I shall not sow anything til OOooooooo.. least Feb....

And now I shall depart and go squidge Jasper, 2 more days and counting and home he shall be... hope he likes his hot water bottle!!

*snuffle* I dot a dold in me dnose... *sniff*.... sympathy please!! Of course, I blame it all on evil Sheila... it's true! Having a visit from evil Sheila is like inviting the Grim Reaper over for cuppa.. cos you know if she comes acalling..your time is up.....

She only visits rellies who are on the last legs and normally about 1-2 years before they croak.... never visits whilst they're alive and happy and perhaps up for a visit, oh no... she lurks... in the background.... then.. leaps out and visits, and then the poor ol' devils know their time is up.... scary lady! And why do this weird action, I hear you askin.. either that or me ears are hummin... well, it's not gone tooo badly so far.. she's seen off all competition and is now 5 houses better off for her.. um.. spooky hobby... anyway, it was evil Sheila's 70th bday this weekend and oh joy of joys we all had to attend, and when I say had to, I mean had to... well, would you say no????? Risking a home visit?????

So off we went, all decked out in... growed up clothes!!! and growed up gal clothes at that.... well, not Ol.. cos that would have been a tad weird....

and spent the evening grimacing.... and me drinking copious ammounts.... this all happened in one of them there intsy village halls, which, I have to say, she'd decked out bootifuuly... bit worrying... and after the meal, of all things, they'd hung one of them there pinuata's?? No idea of the spelling, it was basically, a paper mache balloon, filled with sweets, oh how lovely, I heear you sigh.. oh yes, darn fine idea... hang a large heavy shape from a rafter in a confined space, present all kiddies under 12 with a very large and heavy stick, then run roundin circles performing first aid to all those kiddies who missed....

Mother came to the rescue.... mad as a march hair, gawd I love her lol! She removed the stick from one small yet hoogely strong 8 year old, made them all move away and took a running shot at this balloon contraption and sent it into orbit, round the hall where it crashed into the tables and smashed aload of glasses and plates... only me mum.. honestly... after we'd all raised our heads and peeked above the table to view the destructive force that is my mother... we decided that now may be a darn fine time to take our leave, and ran outta the door... a screech of tyres and we were off...!!! Never again...well, least not til next Tuesady anyway... heh heh heh...

And it is a beautiful spring day here today!!! I've got in from work and sat outside on me bench and one of me chooks took up a pew next to me...

"Soooo what we lookin at then?" she clucks inquisitively...
"The Spring, yer dufus..." roll of eyes..
"Ahhh ok... um.. sooooo what we looking at???"
"We're feeling the sun, watching the birds and seeing the buds swell, ok???"
"Right..."
Long pause as we both survey the garden... sun on our faces.. or beaks.. delete as required...
"Ok.. thanks for that "
and off she gets to go not lay an egg..... think another demonstration may be in order....*sigh*
And I'm in the process of building me own raised beds for my herb garden!! outta hazel n stuff.. more stuff than hazel now I think about it.... but it will be fine! Oh yes.. where there is a will, there is normally a screw up..!

I am going to turn into one of those old eccentric woman, who smells, has 7 cats, 2 donkeys, a lemar, 2 pigs and a ferret called Bob... I can see it now.....

My children will come visit once a month on a Sunday and teeter up the stairs to go see hubs who will be sequestered in the attic building er.. stuff.....!! Then the kids will leave after disinfecting the grandkids.... AHHHHhhhh!!!! I seem to have been severely bitten by the "rescue stuff" bug.... we have my lovely Max, my long awaited for dawg, the battery hens will be arriving soon and so far I've rescued 17 goldfish from me lil ol ladies puddle... I feel the term pond, may be breaking the trade descriptions act

How does one save a goldfish, you may ask... well I find the best way is to raise your hands skyward and say...

"Halleluja and Praisssssssse the Lawd!! DO YOU ACCEPT HIM AS YOUR SAVIOUR??????"" You do tend to end up with 17 fish bobbing on the top with a blank look on their little faces, but I can then declare them saved...... and this PM I'm off to pick up Megson and Dan from school, during lunch I hsten to add, to go visit jasper.... the 3 legged cat we're now adopting *sigh*... The RSPCA has to see allllllllllll the family, to make sure none of us are cat murderers I think... this'll be attempt no 2, I picked them up on Wednesday to go see him, and duly arrived to see a "WE ARE SHUT" sign "RACK OFF AND SORT YERSELF OUT"......

I've had to write another note to their teachers... ahem.."Due to an attack of severe thickness on my paart..... etc etc " so all being well, they shall visit dear lil ol Jasper this PM! Home visit tomorrow, then hopefully we can bring him home next week!! And thank gawd it'll be next week and not this week, yesterday was a complet OH MY GOD WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! day... I had a drawing to finish but no paper, shot off to get paper... 2 hours later due to traffic jam, arrived home, got me pens out... which......didn't work...

Soaked and cleaned the lot, refilled their ink and very delicately squeezed the cartidge back onto the tip.. *squelch* which was duly followed by a *splat* as the ink hit me face.......sob.. erpmanent black ink, I hasten to add... boy did I look attractive!!! And on the eyesight front... great link to subjects there I do beleive... I had to draw the whole blinkin lot with no glasses.... which when you are as blind as a bat makes for, well I'm not sure!! I can't see it!! I'm kinda hoping I have completed a drawing of a garden plan and not submitted an Art Nouveau piccy of squiggles..... not gonna think about it, nope.. denial... always, always if in doubt, deny anything and everything....

PS I think my spelling my have hit new heights today....

My Dearest dotty Dad popped over for a coffe last night.... bless him, he's as observant as a mole in a blindfold...*sigh*

In he wafts and says..
"I dunno, there's something different about you... you're looking well "... hand rubs his chin as he studies me, whilst me brain screams I'VE GOT RED HAIR!!!!! GOOD GRIEF MAN!!
Studies me awhile longer, whilst I smile and bang me head against the wall at the same time... reminds me of growing up, you know, those years between 14 and 17 where you try absolutely anything... There he'd be, seated in his arm chair, hidden behind the paper, and in I'd hop with brown hiar, no hair, black hair, blue hair, mohecain, mini skirt, midi skirt, no skirt..... and the response.... normally a "you look nice, dear "

Well, I don't wanna look nice!!! I wanna look weird and perculiar as is my right as teenager... *sniff and flounce*, various boyfriends were trailed past the armchair with little to no response apart from occasionally, he'd peer over in a confused manner, really..... then dip back behind it.... and these thoughts got me athinkin......

I nearly joined the Foriegn Office you know, many moons ago at the grand age of 21 .... now how's that for a scary thought.... got as far as signing the Official Secrets Act.. and dreaming of foreign climes, not sure how the Diplomatic core would have coped but it could have been interesting..... "You have how many tanks?????" And we have 2, do we think this is fair??? No, I should think not! Now give us 6 back and go play nicely!!!!!"

I'd have ended many major crisises or started them through giggling at people.... you know, the hoity dignatories in all their pomp and self importance, that would have been me lost to howls of laughter, or a snigger..... but then fate stepped in and I met a mad American and took off. to the Good ol USA or not so good,... ah them were the days... but then again, I wouldn't be sat here with me 4 kiddieiwinks and hubs, gawd knows where I'd have ended up! Probably in Outer Mongolia... or in a cupboard somewhere out of harms way....

Er... lost me link lol!!! Been hunting around for it for ageeeeeeeeeeees.. and blow me down and call me Beryl, there it was.... *rolls eyes*

Well, we're all over at Hugh's place, not much sign of him though... can't say I blame him, poor sods, an extra 30 or so people to squish into their bar... I'm on the tea, meself... was supposed to go pootling off to work, and off I pootled and lo and behold the heavens opened.... there's a shocker, so I'm now safely sat, warm mug of tea and a biccy trying to work out how to find a site that will let me just link it here and play the music... they' ain't that nice, are they!!!

I imagine there is as easier way, but I really can't be buggered at the min, I think I could well be half hibernatin'... so scusie for the er.. varitey of music links, I ain't no Bill Gates... OOOoooo double negative, means I am Bill Gates... weird, you'd have thought I'd have noticed..........

erm... I know, I know I've added a music link with absolutely nothing in it... I have the links but at the mo, they are 50 squillion lines long and liable to send this 'ere bloggy thingy into orbit... sooooooooo I am currently waiting for one of my dear dear greatly appreciated maties to get back to me with how to do that clever thingy with just one word... no idea if this'll work, I may well let someone else do the adding for me... <-----thanks for that, Seils... lol!!

Cos knowing my luck, I'd end up putting this darn thingy back in Peruvian where I think my name is Katalina which is actually short for catalogue...*sigh*... Polish didn't fair too much better either..... quite fond of Liechensteinish though.. bless it's little cottons!!!

And on the It's not Easy Being Green Front, we're about to move! Got me boxes and marker pens and boxes and all sorts packed! Just sat one the door step waiting for the van now... gawd, I hope I've packed me rich teas... *pelts off back to grab 'em*

Scusie.. on the floor laughing here cos I'd written one of my "dead dear friends" LMAO!! oh. doesn't take much to get me giggling at the min.... lol!

Back again! LOL!!! Just realized that absolutely no links are showing so ignore this new posting....*slinks off for brain transplant...*

I've done it!!!!!!!!!!! MWah! Snozzer... !! Whoop whoop!!!!!!!!!! Yeeeeeeehhaaaaaaaaaaaaw!!!

I am! I am! I'm hopping from one foot to the other!!

I've been in contact with the battery chooks welfare thingamijib and.... I'm getting 4 rescue hens, and I can't wait! Well, I needed more chooks cos my 4 seem to be having fun and games with how often they'll lay... I am of the belief that they are playing some sort of wicked, evil chook game with me... so I wil have my eggs and I will give these little sweethearts a brand new spanking home... ok...... not new...... but done up! I'm off to paint their home purple... obviously, I figure it'll give off peaceful calming vibes til they're over the shock of landing at the Tardis... hope they can soon get used to the space/time differation...

On the Pootle and Perkin front, I had to make the hardest decision I've had to make in a long, long time.... the short and long of it is that they had turned rogue.. daft you amy think to be scared of 2 roosters, but they'd gone blinkin mental and everytime any one of us went into the garden, we were getting attacked... gone were my fluffy, sweet babies and they'd been replaced by 2 psycho chooks who would have you by the throat as soon as look at you.... then the day came, when little Mags went to go play and they got her, just missing her eye... poor love was beside herself... so I had to phone my dad, who came to take them away and I haven't asked or want to know what's happened to them... cowardly, yup.. but I kinda know.... and those of you who are thinking "What are evil cow you are" and "How could you!!!" well, I did... I don't regret it, I just feel incredibly sad that I had to... guilty as hell that I'd ever brought them into the world for this to happen, but in the same breath, if they'd had any glimpse of being vguely friendly, I would have worked like the blazes to find a way to keep them... but not much point in having the large garden I'd always dreamed of, when we were all too woosie to go out in it...!! And weirdly the gals started laying, the day after Pootle and Perkin had gone... and Jags, you were a star, thank you for listening to my ramblings and woes and tearing me hair out with guilt and tears and sobs....... your comment of "Do it, yer daft mare"... helped..!

And I have learnt my lesson and will never hatch anything again, I couldn't do this again for all the tea in China... so off I pootle (sob) to go paint the gals new home, I hope they like purple... can chooks see in colour???

Well, dunno bout where you are but here on Saturday it was a truly beautiful day! So I togged meself up and managed to spend most of it in the garden... magik!!

I finally managed to finish off chicken proofing the veg patch, after having a major fight with curled up, ancient chicken wire.. grrrr.... then I discovered there was about a 2 ft gap between the top of the chicken wire and the bottom of the espaliered fruit trees, plenty of room for a wiley chook to get in... soooooooooo I turned me brain on, went outside the box for a bit and came up with beads!!! Beads tend to be the answer to most of my problems with the universe... that or spinning... and sometimes they are interchangeable with spinning beads having a mighty powerful effect, let me tell you!! So Sunday, when the rain arrived I spent many hours threading and making litle twirly beady things to hang from the tree branches, the thoery being...... they'd spin and make a noise, I can tick that box, they are mirrored so the sun hits them sends out reflections which make the stoopid chooks jump, that box ticked, and if they do decide to attempt to break in, the beads would touch their wings and confuse them further, that box yet to be ticked due to refusal of the hens to participate in this part of the experiment...

Though I do believe a secret chook meeting took place in the late afternoon, headed by the Master.....
"Go on Martha" she said..."Give it a go...it is your duty as chief flier to attempt to negotiate these barrage beads the mad mare has shoved up...""
Stoney look from Martha..
"Yes Master...." rolls off for a run up, goggles down, tail feathers up..
"Martha calling Master, Martha calling Master... ABORT, ABORT!!!"
As she crash lands into the shrubbery...

So fingers crossed, me veg are safe... now just the blinkin pigeons to confuse....

I'm gonna try and do a monthly piccy bit, mainly cos I wanna see how it's going!

So I've started over there -------> with jan... strangely.......

WOOP!! WOOP!!!! LOL! I did!! I've done something I've always wanted too!! I just ran away from the dentist!!!!!

Well, it was thier own blinkin fault, I mean really..... cuh! I was due a root canal...thing is I didn't know why I was due a root canal, which was a kinda hindrance on my part...... So I steeled myaelf, drove there, burst into the room and said
"I'm sorry I'm not having a root canal....I'm scared rigid, my roots are in my nose and you don't seem to have any idea as to why we are about to inflict this on lil ol petrified me.....I'm resistant to anaesthetic, I haven't had an attack of neuralgia for 10 days and unless you can explain this in simple terms as to how this will benefit me, I ain't doin it..."

Stunned silence from 1 dentist and 2 dental nurses... a tad suspiscious as to why there are 2, I have to say.... and as I crept ever closer to me escape route, the nurse said...
"Oh come now, don't be silly it'll only take 2 mins..."

"Then why have you got me booked in for 45 mins??"

Now I am capable of doing stuff I hate and loathe, honest I am... but my brain need time to assimilate the reasons for such an action, then to divide things into pro and con columns, hum and ha for 2 mins then come to the realization that yes... given the FACTS!!! This is a wise move.....

"You have children don't you?"

um yes... you saw them all yesterday.... confidence slipping to an all time low and suspicions growing and growing..
"Well, it's not as bad as that is it..."


aanddddddddd.. they've lost me... couldn't get outta there fast enough, made for the door, dentist yells "See you in a month!!!!"!! to my retreating butt...

That is not the thing to say to a woman who took 3 days to give birth the first time round, and has vague, foggy, not pleasant memories of being strapped to a bed in the most indignant position a woman can be.. hordes of med students coming round, having a poke and a pull.... and after 2 days being told
"Oh well done! You're 2 cm dialated!"

My aim with a bed pan, has since improved, I must add... but for goodness sake!!!! SO here I am... no pain at all, all teeth present and accounted for and a phone call from the very apologetic dentist to say she will sort out an actual head x ray thingy to find where the nerves have gone to, and we'll take it from there... But I did it!!! I didn't woose out! I ran and I ran well!